Teaching Olympics in São Paolo Expected To Profit Off Back Of Río 2016

Teaching Olympics in São Paolo Expected To Profit Off Back Of Río 2016

São Paolo, Brazil - Travellers to the Río games are already spoilt for choice but those seeking something a little different are being directed toward Brazil's cultural capital of São Paolo for the 7th TEFL Olympics. 

This is the first time the event has been held outside Europe and represents a move to grow the games on an international level. Mayor Margalho made the successful bid in an attempt to steal some of Río's Thunder. "I want to steal Río's thunder”, said Mayor Margalho.

The list of events is extensive but only some are expected to fill the 80,000 seater Mamoto stadium. The 110m Schoolbag Hurdles, 200m Stationery Pick Up and Return to Appropriate Area Sprint, and the Broken Printer Removal come top of the list for many. President of the games Mariana Malcato explains a change in how the BPR will be organised this year.

“This year is the first year the BPR will be split into two separate events. A larger upright office style Printer / Photocopier with a damaged wheel will be used in a 100m two-person push whereas a smaller standard home office type printer / copier will be the choice for the shot put event. We see this as a way to get more bums in seats as regards spectators but also to engage more athletes. Now, they can play to their strengths.” 

Ivor, representing Wales in tomorrow’s shot put, is feeling confident that he has put in the hours to take the gold. “We’ve had a nightmare year with printers where I work. It’s the usual story of the boss wanting to cut costs and buying these cheap knock-off printers. On a good day, I can get a standard size inkjet from one corner of the room over the coffee machine and through the window out onto the street below. People say it’s irresponsible but let’s see what they say when I bring home that medal.”

Other events of interest include the Broken / Scratched CD discus, Freestyle and Butterfly 50m Swimming in Paperwork, and the Offload Responsibilities 400m Relay. The Print-Staple-Stack Triathlon is not being held due to lack of interest and a reduction in China’s staple output. 

The week-long games are set to go out with a bang with a royal rumble style Parent / Teacher Boxing free-for-all. Mayor Margalho will be in attendance for the last-day smackdown. “I can’t wait for it! I heard it was crazy last year, like, proper gladiator last person standing chaos.” Much to the Mayor’s dismay, organiser Mariana Malcato had to inform him of changes to São Paolo’s version. “We are putting all participants through metal detectors for our games. For safety reasons, we can’t allow people to sneak in foreign objects like the staplers and paperweights found last year.” 

Brexit Blamed For Great Chocolate Biscuit Shortage Of June / July 2016.

Brexit Blamed For Great Chocolate Biscuit Shortage Of June / July 2016.