Students Slip Into Coma-Like State As Teacher “Accidentally” Opens Holiday Slideshow
BARCELONA, SPAIN - A total of 6 students are under observation in a local hospital today after being subjected to a teacher’s mind-numbing holiday presentation. The English students began to drop off one by one as the teacher banged on about his recent trip to Malta.
Mr. Moore, a keen shutterbug, claims that he mislabelled the slideshow as ‘Present Perfect’ after a 15 minute mindfulness session in the staffroom. “It could have happened to a bishop. I was reviewing my 2,319 pictures of the aquamarine waters from my scuba diving trip on company time when I just zoned out. The water was so clear…”
Sara, a 22-year-old student from the pre-intermediate level group, recalls how the lesson began.
“We had been looking forward to studying the present perfect for ages. I’ve been coming here for almost three years now but I feel like I’m getting nowhere, like I’ll never make it to Intermediate. If I had known it was going to take this long, I probably would have gone to another academy. Oh well, you make your bed and you lie in it” she sighed.
David, a classmate of Sara’s goes on explain their excitement for the grammar lesson. “I think I can speak for all of us when I say we were on the edge of our seats, chomping at the bit, even. The next thing is, “Malta 2016”, appears in great big bl**dy letters! I thought he would close it but he just began to waffle on about how clear the water was.
“He kept going on and on and on” says Lin, 20, originally from Beijing. “I mean the geezer wouldn’t put a sock in it. That’s when I noticed that some of my mates were slumped like sacks of potatoes in their seats. I paid through the nose to come to this academy!”
The principal, Miss Behave, has refused to comment until Moore returns from his lunch break.